Our shadow self and depth development

The shadow self describes that part – or those parts – of our selfhood which have been rejected by our persona or ego self. The persona is the self we show to the world, which we experience as ‘me’, and which represents all that we have learned to and all that we think we should be.

The shadow self represents parts of our self which are ‘unacceptable’. If we were to show this side of our self we might repulse, shock or even amaze others. We will stand out, seem different and may risk rejection. To prevent this our defensive unconscious witholds the darkest and probably also the brightest in us. If, however, this part of us leaks or bursts out – and this can happen when we are very tired, stressed or upset – it usually causes us problems. We get in to arguments, are unkind to others, or say and do things that contravene social norms and what others expect of us.

Through meeting and getting to know our shadow self we can learn greater self acceptance and self control, based on a more complete knowledge of who we are.

In the Dialogue Space we support you to in your depth development, enabling you to:

• Notice and manage difficult and unexpected shadow emotions that disrupt daily life
• Explore and let go of the guilt and shame associated with your shadow needs and desires
• Recognise how we often project our shadow self on to others as a way of releasing the difficult feelings in our self, and learn to take back your projections.
• Use creative methodologies such as free fall writing and active imagination to get to know your shadow and loosen its hold on you.
• Learn practices that help you to sustain calm, warm awareness that supports deep personal inquiry and growth.

Find out more about how we can help with our online group sessions and one to one, couple and family sessions